Fierce.

So I found out I got into TAFE today. Yay! Whipped out the parental’s credit card and its all paid for. So I have to go to orientation on July 21st which will be cool. I’m mainly excited about getting a concession card so I don’t have to pay a stupid amount for public transport. Its going to be weird having a routine again after doing nothing for so long.

So I had my first real shift at the Stadium on Saturday night. I was ushering which meant I showed people where they had to sit. I even got to wear one of those radio head set things which was cool. I had to stand up for 6 and a half hours straight after already working another 5 hours before at the fruit shop. So by the end of it I was pretty exhausted, but it was kind of cool. There were lots of drunk sleazy guys but I guess that is to be expected at a football game. AFL games have a nice family atmosphere and I kind of got into the game by the end of it.

Yesterday I saw The Hangover at the cinema and it was alright. There were quite a few moments that I laughed pretty hard at, but most of it was kind of average. And it made me feel really anxious because I wanted everything to work out and get done in time haha. I’d probably rate it a 2.5-3 out of 5.

I think I’m going to go down to the chemist and by some hair dye. Toodle-fucking-oo.

Al Pacino eyes are looking at me

It’s raining pretty heavily outside and it also hailed a little bit. Dad took Spike for a walk before this all started. The poor things will be drenched when they get back.

So I bought the ugly pants and shoes for my new job. I’m working the Bulldogs vs. the Panthers tomorrow night and then the Swans game on Saturday. State of Origin is on Wednesday and I pray that I’m not put on that. It will be hectic! A little excited and a little nervous. Hopefully it will all go okay! Such a bright uniform! Hahaha. Might take a photo. I had to paint my nails a really subtle colour because of their rules. Ohhh well.

Tonight I’m going to go to Tiff’s gig in Newtown with Nick. I hope it stops raining a little bit by then!

I’m going to make a cup of tea! Cheerio!

We don’t mean that much…

My latest obsession. Cheese, avocado and salami toasted sandwiches. Godddddammmmn. So good. I’ve made myself three this week. Crazy! They make my day though.

This week has been busy. Working lots. Boring stuff. Sleeping. I sulked a lot on Monday and decided that after that session that my sulking days are over. There is no point sitting at home crying in bed and wasting life away.  Less negativity and self deprecation and more fun and love!

On Monday Nick leaves me for three weeks to feed his Cocaine addiction in Peru. Okay, well that’s not really why he is going (he’s actually hiking). The point is, I’m going to be really sad. And lonely. And probably sexually frustrated. I was pretty crappy when he went to Melbourne for a week and now he is going to the other side of the world for three weeks. Yes, I have become a pathetic dependent mess. Laugh and jeer all you like. So I need lots of people to hang out with me and kiss me and love me while he is away.

This post is not interesting.

Interesting

So i’ve been thinking. Uncertainty has never felt better. For some reason, i don’t have any anxiety about my future (or lack thereof). So what if i don’t have any work coming up? I’m still young and there is plenty of time. There is no point getting all flustered over something i don’t have a great deal of control over.

I’ve been thinking of possible plans anyways. If i don’t get an industry based job by the end of January, i’m going to just get regular full time work doing anything. And i’m going to save up so i can go live with/vist my sister in San Francisco. Because i studied this year, its much easier to get a working visa in the States. I might even travel around for a bit. Who knows.

Exams this week.

Uggghh…

BUT THEN FREEDOM!!!! (hopefully)

I’ll kill you, you fucking flat-chested cock-sucking spastic horse fucker!

Some days i wake up and start to think that i am slowly becoming everything i hate. I feel like such a hypocrite and that i’m just too judgemental. I just need to stay focused, not get too bummed out on things and just try and be somewhat satisfied with the way things are.

I’m just really frustrated with myself and my choices. I don’t know if i am going to pass everything at college and get everything done on time. I don’t know what kind of work i’m going to do next year, and i have this horrible feeling i’ll be lying on my couch feeling sorry for myself for a few months because i haven’t found a job. I hate the uncertainty of the future. It stresses me out.

Today i sat at Alison’s house watching Skins. Fuck that is the best show ever, no joke. Just when you think something can’t get anymore fucked up, it does. It makes me feel somewhat normal. It also makes me want to run away and find my own English boy to stroke.

Play it cool, boy. Play it cool.

As i should probably be doing assignments, i thought i would put them off for another 15 minutes or so by posting another empty entry. This weekend was good involved sleeping, working, maccas, buying lisa passion pop, pool and mexican. Im so happy that im only working Saturdays from now on. Get Sundays off! Hooray.

So pretty much we don’t actually do anything productive at work. I just make everyone play stupid games with me and take photos and stuff.

Yeaaaaah. That’s it!

xx

Shoes :)

Ahhh so my Holidays finally have come to an end and i have to go to back to College on Tuesday. It was nice having a break, but i am looking forward to getting back into the routine and getting my qualifications!

This weekend has been okay. Friday night Alison and I went to Kate’s Party, but we had to leave early because i had to work early and Alison had to go to Gosford the next day. And then Saturday i worked and by the time i got home, i was sooo drained. But i really needed new shoes, so i went to Macquarie and picked up 4 pairs. And i only spent $45! It was pretty great.

I should have got a size smaller for the heels, but they still fit okay. I don’t know if i like them though. But they were only $10 from Rubi, so whatevs.

Anyway, Saturday night was boring as. I was sooo tired. I had dinz with the family, watched a bit of Alfred Hitchcock’s Vertigo. I watched most of it and from what i took in, it was a pretty cool movie. I love the musical score and how it is so thrilling and exciting. I love how the actors possess such integrity, class and talent. Anyway, i ended up going to bed at like 10 an completely crashing.

So i had work again today (…yay). Which wasn’t so bad because Jess was managing which meant i would spend a lot of the day in the office just chilling and taking extended breaks. As for tonight, there will be hangs and dinz.

As for tomorrow lots of cramming and trying to get lots of work done!
That is all.

xx