Struggle

You know when you get that sinking pit in your stomach and that heavy heart feeling? I’m currently experiencing that and i’m not entirely sure why. I don’t know what triggered this but it is really disconcerting. It has also made me think about the uncertainty of my future. I feel like i’ve fucked up this year, to an extent. If i could re-do certain things, i definitely would. Having said that, there have been some really awesome times. But i just feel like i frequently make mistakes or don’t do a good job of things.

I don’t know if i am going to receive my advanced diploma this year due to a few issues (incomplete assignments, lack of work placement, failed essays etc.). And i know i will have time to complete stuff next year, but i would rather just get it out of the way. And i don’t know what kind of work i’m going to undertake next year. The entertainment industry is so fickle, which makes it really hard.

I guess i just feel really alone. I do have a few close friends who are really awesome and i do appreciate them. But for some reason i just feel really isolated. And its not like i particularly want to be in an ‘intimate’ relationship of some sort, because i am really just sick of the idea of being fucked around. I find the thought of submitting myself emotionally to someone really just a waste of energy because its more than likely to be un-reciprocated. I think i just have crazy trust issues. However, should someone come along and happen to blow my mind, i would be more than welcome to the idea of giving it a chance. But the likelihood of that  happening is close to impossible. I’m just really scared about everything.

Anyways, i have the entire holidays to mull over and over analyse everything. Signing out xx

Oh Thursdayyy

Life sucks. Especially when you’re at home on a Thursday while everyone is out partying. Almost as bad as being stuck at home on a Saturday night. Oh well. What can you do..

I’m currently really poor. Because i was on holidays last week I didn’t work any shifts and therefore will not get paid this weekend. So i have to wait until October 3rd until i finally get some finance. When i finally do get paid i have to pay my phone bill, which will eat up most of my moniez. So the other day i got my nerd on and decided to create a cash flow forecast for October. I calculated all my income and expense and even allowed for some savings. This way i can allocate money without just spending it flippantly. I really need to get a life, haha.

Last night Alison and i went for one of our ‘walks’. These so called walks consist of us meeting at Epping station, buying a drink, finding somewhere to sit outside and discussing life. Last night’s session was good. Many topics were brought up including fashion and how it has changed; how people have changed (generally for the worse); what we want to do over the next couple of years and just goss in general. These sessions are pretty great because we can vent and talk about absolutely anything judgement free. I’m really fortunate to have a friend like her and i feel sorry for people who don’t have people like that in their life. Look forward to the next one ❤

This weekend i don’t think i have any major plans, just work, relaxing and hanging out. I think i’m kind of getting over the whole ‘club scene’ because i’m just so out of the loop with everyone/everything. Which doesn’t bother me heaps because i’m pretty used to it. And i really can’t be bothered wasting my time when i could be doing something more productive or spending my money on more worthwhile things.

This term has really flown by. I’m already on holidays. Soon enough (well, in 10 weeks) i will have finished my course and hopefully will have received my Advanced Diploma of Venues and Events. Hopefully i will get some driving lessons these holidays, do more drawing, do more exercise, go on cute picnics, sit in the sun and just chill.

That’s it for now, babes. Take it easy
xx

Pro-Pro-Procrastination

So while i should probably be doing my one million page assignment that is due tomorrow, i figured i should at least get my main form of procrastination out of the way. Blog entries. To start with, here are the two dresses i bought in Melbs.

Please ignore how retarded and slightly deformed my face is. The point is, look at how cute the dresses are! I’m so happy with my purchases! Hooray.

Another comment i must make is on the sexual curiosity of girls in Sydney at the moment. Now, i’m no homophobe or anything and i fully support sexual liberation of all sorts. But its kind of getting crazy with all girl-on-girl action going on at the moment. Which brings me to my main point. SYDNEY BOYS, LIFT UP YOUR GAME. There is a serious lack of babes and real dudes out there. Just stop being such dicks and maybe you too will get in on some of this action. Now that you have all been informed i will be observing to see if any of you actually will change your behaviour.

So, now that you have the warning, where exactly do you go from here? Good question! Here are some tips on the workings of a girl’s mind.

1. Just because we make out with you, doesn’t mean we are in love with you! Crazy, i know! Some girls may like to be spoken to afterwards if things went well, so a message here or there wouldn’t go astray. On the otherhand, if it didn’t go well and you aren’t interested, you should probably say so. I honestly don’t care if you don’t want to talk to me anymore, but telling me that you’d rather not have me in your life is better than ignoring me. Its true.
2. Wear nice shoes. I notice guy’s shoes and if you’re wearing something that is original and cool, you are more likely to score. Please note that chuck taylors and checkered vans do not count as original or cool.
3. Don’t be over emotional and obsessive. That is a great way to freak chicks out. Messaging a girl right after seeing her saying ‘I MISS YOU ALREADY’ I find to be really off putting. I mean, how can you honestly miss someone you hardly know after being without her for a couple of hours? Screams creepy and needy to me. Perhaps something like, “It was awesome seeing you. We should do it again sometime!” would be better.
4. Don’t tell a girl what you think they want to hear. Because we know what you think we want and we just aren’t that stupid. Just be honest.
5. Remember what we say! Like if we tell you what we are doing on the weekend or where we work or what suburb we live in. You will score more points for remembering little things.
6. Remember what you say. This is quite important. I’ve been stuck in so many situations where i will have heard the same story over and over again by a guy. Its reaaalllly boring. This probably hurts me most out of any of the aforementioned points.
7. Unless we ask in the first place, PLEASE DON’T TALK ABOUT YOUR EX. We really don’t care!!
8. Personal hygiene! Brush your teeth, wash your hair and wear deodorant. Is it too much to ask?

Okay, that’s all i can think of now. But if you have any questions or further suggestions on what you can do to increase your chances of getting laid, fire away.

I’m off to pretend that i’m doing assignments!
xx

Melbourne 2008

Today i got back from my 4 day trip to Melbourne. Alison and I decided that we needed a brief getaway from Sydney and that a weekend away would provide us with the relaxation and escape that we needed. Prior to leaving I was heaps amped on getting out of Sydney. But after coming back, i realise i’m really lucky to have such great friends here. I’m not even sure why i love the scummy place so much, but i just do. Sometimes i think its all i’ve got. Anyway, back to the story. Melbourne was great and i loved St Kilda. Here are some pictures of our adventures!

Day One.

This is me and Alison being ~babes~ on the plane. I was sooo excited!

I didn’t realise that Avalon airport was just a tin shack. We then caught a bus to the city where we were staying. The room we had was really small, but it was kind of cute. And i had my bunny so it was all going to be okaaaay. We then proceeded to get ready for Next.

Next was alright. I was pretty shocked that you couldn’t even get free water there. That’s got to be against some regulation right? And its also really good for the binge drinking that goes on, hey. But whatever haha. I met some really cool people and Alison and i danced a bit. It made me realise that the guys that go to hot damn are way more metal then the guys in Melbourne. Too many stairs! Haha. We then went and got Subway (24 hour!!!!!) and we went and got hot chocolate and drank it on the roof top of our accommodation. It ruled!

Day Two.
The next day was reserved for shopping and just looking around! I was getting my tourist on taking lots of photos. Melbourne is so lucky to have such beautiful architecture.

Another great thing about Melbourne is they have the cutest street art.

More touristy picturesss.

Then we continued shopping. I bought a dress. And then i went to try on a top and like most (semi-retarded) girls i took a photo to see what it looked like.

Melbourne Sportsgirl ruled!! When we walked in there the shop assistant was so lovely and friendly! She told us about lots of great places in Melbourne. They also had a FREE photobooth in the store, so i made Alison take photos with me.

We then went home after walking around for hours. We were going to have an afternoon nap until we got a knock on the door. Some builder came in saying that they had to install a bookcase in our room. I was soooo bummed because we only got like 3 hours sleep from the night before. So we had to vacate our room for half an hour. So we went to the theatre, which was pretty much like a cinema with a projector and played foxtel. Anyway, when we went in, there was already a man sitting there (possibly masturbating). So we couldn’t change the channel. We were stuck there watching NATIONAL LAMPOON. I wanted to die. I was so tired and all had in front of me was Chevy Chase’s ugly face projected onto a big screen. It was awful. Then we went back upstairs and had a nap. Woke up and got ready to go to the MIles Away show that was on at the Arthouse.

After the show we went to Ding Dong. Well actually we first went home so we could have an outfit change and then went. Ding Dong was full of crazy weirdos. But some young and normal people too. And some really babeish bartenders. We met Steve there. I convinced him it was a good idea to get naked, so he took off his shirt. So funny. Made my night.

Alison and I then went back to our place and we had our regular hot chocolate on the roof and laughed at all the strange things that happened that night!

Day Three.
This was a great day. I’ve always wanted to live out my Secret Life of Us fantasies, and i achieved this by venturing into beautiful St Kilda. I met Alison’s friend Emily who picked us up and took us there. We ate lunch at Greasy Joe’s, which sounds rank but was actually really amazing! I got fish and chips and didn’t need to eay anything else for the rest of the day. St Kilda reminded me heaps of Newtown in Sydney, except it was at the beach. It was so lovely. I bought a pretty dress for $20. I was pretty happy. Here are some photos from the day.

We then went home and had another nap. We woke up and went to the theatre for a bit and then we started to get ready for bang. Caity picked us up and we headed off. It was soooo freaking cold though! Bang was sooo packed and i was still pretty tired. It was crazy and the bar lines were way long. For a couple of reasons we ended up leaving early. We also got some hot chocolate and enjoyed that.

Day Four.
Our final day in Melbourne was nice. Finally the weather had picked up and it was pretty nice!

We then got a taxi back to Southern Cross Station and got Subway for breakfast. It was great. I was so excited to go back to Sydney. Sure, Melbourne was great. But i missed the comfort of home, my friends, puppies and family. So we hopped on plane! I wanted to get an awesome photo of us going up the stairs, but the photo was overexposed. So bummed!

So i had a pretty great first Melbourne experience. I definitely want to go back next year. It is pretty different to Sydney, but in a good way. The weirdest thing is there are NO lads in Melbourne. We were so tripped out.

Annnnywaaay. Thats it for now!
Goodnight xxx

2 More Sleeps

Quick update.. with photos!

The other week, Karina asked if i could curl her hair because she was dressing up as Frodo (LOTR). And might i say, she made a lovely (and convincing) little hobbit. Photos as proof! She even had hair on her feet! Its real, i swear. She stopped shaving for like a month!

And something real cute happened tonight. I walked outside in the sunroom, to do something and i looked at my friendly beagle companion, Spike. He was all rugged up in his blanket, but i noticed that he was cuddling a little teddy bear. He looked so lonely, but it was adorable! I told dad that it was so cute how he tucked Spike in. But he had no idea what i was talking about. So i asked mum, if she did it. But she was also clueless. Neither of them did it, he cuddle it himself! So i made sure i took photos!

And tonight i started packing for my Melbourne adventure. Leaving on Thursday afternoon. Im sooooo excited. I’ve never been there before and i’m glad i’m going with Alison because we are going to have soooo much fun. I’m taking this maaaasssive suitcase and i think i’ve packed enough clothes to last me 2 months. But i haven’t even finished yet. Gaahh.. I don’t know what i’m going to do between now and then.

Oh well, thats a brief update of my life! Goodnight xx

Thursday

This week has been hectic.
Monday -Hung out with Mitchell during the day then went straight to Penny’s Birthday dinner.
Tuesday -College during the day (whole day) then Lisa Anderson came over, and then ended up at the RSL.
Wednesday – College until 2, then had work from 4-7, then met up with Steph, Buzio and Alison at the RSL at 7:30.

And as for today, i had college. I was supposed to take Emily to see Cinderella on Ice (yeah, apparently she is a meth addict now), but i’m so run down that i feel like shit. I haven’t slept well for the past few nights, it hasn’t been nice.

This time next week, Alison and i will be on our adventures. Seriously can’t wait. Fuck Shitney!

Also, what is it with guys these days thinking they are models? Wow, your friend owns an SLR or you had a few portfolio shots done. Doesn’t mean you are actually attractive, dress well or even have any talent. It actually makes me sick and its also pretty embarrassing.  End Rant.

Just want it to be next week already.

That’s it for now, babeh. xx

Friday Nights

Currently having a quiet night at home next to the heater doing assignments. I love this rainy weather when i get to sit inside and listen to the sound of cars gliding across the wet roads.

I had a movie afternoon where i watched ‘Crash’ and ‘Fight Club’. Fight Club i’ve seen before, but Crash was new to me. I found it really refreshing and raw. For those of you who don’t know, its about racial tensions between a group of several (different coloured) people whose lives all interlock in someway through a series of car crashes and shootings within LA. I highly recommend seeing this one. And it has a pretty great cast, including Brenden Frasier, Sandra Bullock, Ludacris and Matt Dillon (<3).

This weekend i have nothing really big planned as i am working both days, which is good because then i will have more money for when i go away. My sister also wants me to go to Brisbane with her at the end of November/early December. The only downside is that its during my final exams. I could probably resit them later, but i don’t know. And mum wants me to go to Egypt with her next year. So much traveling. Gosh. Its intense!

I’m currently watching Alfie on tv. And dear god. Jude Law is possibly human perfection. Normally i’m not really into blondes, but sheeeessshh! Now let’s all take a moment to marvel in his amazingness.

Fuck.